I had a very depressing meeting with the doctor this week. I have a feeling that it might even get worse. When that happens I get down. The first thing I do when I get down is head to McDonald's for one or two of these tasty Egg McMuffins.
Because this depressing news has to do with my weight I will need to head off the Casual Male XL for new clothes to fit, as most of mine are getting too tight. Of course this is depressing, too so I need to go eat a sensible lunch at my favorite restaurant Cafe Sushi where I can enjoy some fine dining.
Since I am getting so fat, and nothing seems to stop it, I will need to upgrade my mountain bike to one of these just to hold my weight. Most bikes are built for an average 200lb rider for everyday cross country, so that means my current bikes will crumble under my size. It will be depressing to ride a near 40 pound bike through the trail, but it is what I deserve in my current state. The problem here is that no companies make mountain bike clothes in my size, so I will be forced to wear Vanilla Ice Jumpers.
Unfortunately I may just be too fat to ride, and will have to increase my XBOX time, so I might as well get this new TV from Best Buy. If I am diabetic I will have to cut back on Culvers.
Of course I will have to change my eating habits, so I will go back to the McDougall Diet. Or I may have to join Jenny Craig. Maybe I will have to join Bally's. If so, I will need a heart rate monitor so I stay in my target zones. I hope I don't over do it. I might need to get some home fitness stuff as well.
While I sat here typing this my problem became painfully obvious as my dog peed on the floor. While cleaning it I had a hard time bending over and ripped my pajama pants. I will have to get a new pair of those now.
Man, this is a depressing and expensive post. Can't I go to the doctor and get some good news for a change???
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3 comments:
It looks like you got a workout just typing up all those links :-)
I know you've been excerising lately, so maybe you're gaining weight because muscle weighs more than fat. Just a thought.
*Kristie*
We were following that a bit a bunch of years back and from some of what we read in one of his books, we gathered that food was only to survive and was not really to be enjoyed.
But we decided that we like food too much and didn't stick with it.
But if you did... man, you could skip the Vanilla Ice Jumpers and head to the the little horse jockey outfit department.
By the way... if you wonder why no one commnets on your last post about no one commenting... it doesn't seem to have been posted. I could read it in my RSS feeds, but it isn't on your blog.
Weird.
unless Neal already told you, don't do it. they were the most strict and flavourless four years of my married life. he thinks food shouldn't taste too good or you might eat too much of it.
kind of blows the whole "pleasing aroma to the Lord" concept.
I was very glad to welcome cheese and meat back into my inner circle when we quit.
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