Dealing with Daggers

If you have been reading my blog
lately you know I have been taking a look at my life, trying to learn from
it, and trying to move forward with my family.  I have been looking
at my upbringing and typical parenting things, and trying to change things
in my parenting style.  Well something got me thinking about external
issues from outside family and how to deal with them.  I am also wondering
what role this issue will play in my family and its future.


I noticed I have had a lot of daggers
stuck in my back over the years.  This epiphany came as I was working
through pulling several recent daggers out.  I was in a conversation
the other day where I realized I was having a "discussion" with a person
over some semantics of a conversation I had with them before.  The
problem was I NEVER had this discussion with this person.  This conversation
had nothing to do with the person I was talking to at all.  It came
to me that I was getting yelled at over a conversation that another friend
talked about behind my back.


Like any person, this bothered
me greatly.  According to Scripture I know I need to forgive, and,
since I have been forgiven so much, I am working through it.  I must
admit it is tough, though.  But, in looking at it from a higher perspective,
I see this is something I have been plagued with through all my life.  Over
the years I have been accused for a number of things.  In my history
many of these things have been false accusations.  There have been
times I was vindicated after the fact, but I have had to go through it
just the same.  I have also just plainly been stabbed in the back
by other methods.  Friends talking about me have stabbed me in the
back.  Trying to help has gotten me stabbed in the back where I have
been involved with projects that others have held up.  Unfortunately,
I could go on.  


I am also watching this false accusation
issue happen with another of my friends.  I have known this friend
for a long time, and am so frustrated on his behalf.  I know, in the
end, the whole mess will be straightened out, but watching him have to
deal with this simple misunderstanding turned mountain is so irritating.
 Of course, back to Scripture we have to go.  The Bible says
these kinds of things are going to happen, and gives us instruction on
how to deal with them.


Okay, so I have to look forward.
 As you know I am looking for things in my life that I have let in,
and dealing with them both in my life, and in the lives of my wife and
children.  This is part of my quest to raise a Godly family.  I
am not sure where to go on this as a father.  It is obvious that the
Lord is showing me something, and bringing this issue to the front for
a reason.  As a father I see my kids coming to the age where we will
have to deal with offense.  I wonder if this is coming to the front
because I will have to see my kids stabbed in the back as I have been,
and I wonder if I can teach them to walk uprightly with the Lord where
I have not in the past.  I wonder if I had to get stabbed in the back
again to take a critical look at if I can handle walking uprightly with
the Lord myself so I can teach the kids.  I am hoping that I only
had to go through this the last time so the Lord can say, "son, I am going
to spare you from watching your kids go through this."

I am hoping I can beg the Lord
to let this be the case.