Monday, July 31, 2006

Fathers and families

Well, like many of you, I read the interview of Scott Somerville over at the TOSPUBLISHER page. I found it was very iteresting and had some bits of knowledge I can learn from. As I was reading it, I began to think of my family and my involvement in it . Not just the homeschooling area, thogh that was a big part of my thoughts, but who I am and why I parent the way I do. I thought I would take a little time exploring this here so maybe some of you could comment, and I can learn things I may need to at this point in my parenting.

First, let me say something about myself. I am 36, and married for nearly 15 years to my beautiful Andrea. We have four children, Nathan, Jordan, Allyson, and Kathryn. I love and adore my wife and family, and am typically an affectionate person. This is where I have to dig deeper and expose myself for the sake of learning.

I am one of those early GenX'ers. I came from a good family, but I think it is important to note that. This isn't a blog to bash my parents, or how I was raised, but one to look at how I can grow from where I am. There were some things in my life that I wish weren't there, but for the most part, I am a product of society in certain areas. I grew up in a home where I was given much freedom. The Gospel was put aside in our house when I was about ten. I was allowed to ride and hang out anywhere I wanted. I came home to check in, not to communicate.

Communication wasn't one of the strong points in my house growing up. From time to time we would talk, or joke, but we weren't deep. This was a rough area for me as I am a deep person who loves intamacy. Our house was a home where we showered and watched tv. We rarely ate dinner together after I was about ten. We would watch some tv together, but mostly, we would take turns watching whatever.

This might be how many of us were raised. GenX'ers raised from Boomer Me people. As I investigate myself, though, I find this is where a plug was pulled in my plugged in society. My wife will tell you I am a caring man. I am. I just can't get past the surface in certain areas though. I look at some of the fathers here and realize I am not doing all I can in the home. Though I am very outward in my focus, I find myself at a loss where home is concerned. I find this funny. I sell industrial gases, I am a youth pastor, and a chaplain in Boy Scouts.

I talk like crazy. I do talk a lot in the home, but I just don't seem to be that father I should be. I notice lately that I spit out that which has been put into me over the years. I will often entertain my kids and others. I was influenced by that whch I watched. I will either regurgitate a comedy bit from someone else, or adapt one of my own to get a laugh. This is rough for as I have much deeper inside myself that I don' know how to bring out in the home.

This is where I get into it. In the home I regurgitate rules and conformity. "You must behave like this", "you should know already how to act", these are how I was parented. I noticed this a few weeks ago when I was trying to show my oldest "why" I felt the way I did about something. "Do you understand?"

"Yeah, you don't want me to watch that movie."

This told me a lot about where I am missing the mark. I want to teach my kids to have convictions, but istead I teach them robotics. Move this way, act that way. This is where I read other men and their experiences, and I see myself missing it in the home, and possibly the ministry. This is where I look to you for help. I want to see my kids going deeper than te surface. I want them to know why they are who they are. I want them to see deeper. I want them to understand what the Father loves and hates so they might desire to please Him. I feel I have not put that in them to this point. I feel as though I put a lot of "if, then" rules into them, and taught them memorization of behavior regulations, not a passion to live a righteous life.

Any input would be very helpful.

Saturday, July 22, 2006


My son, Master Windu
TAGGED me. In an effort to keep the game alive, I will answer.

1. Where would you live in Narnia?

The Beaver dam

2. Which item would you like, a healing cordial, bow & arrows and horn, or sword

and shield?

Sword and Shield

3. Who would you want as your brother or sister , Lucy, Edmund, Susan or Peter?


4. If you were King or Queen of Narnia what would your name be? (Ex. Edmund

the Just)

Rob the Round

5. What is your favorite Narnia creature?

The bird cat thing

6. Who is your favorite Narnia hero Peter or Aslan?


7. What is your favorite Narnia scene?

When Alsan first comes out.

8. Having fun?

Sort of

9. What is your favorite book?

The Cat in the Hat

10. Who are you going to tag?

Monday, July 10, 2006

More about Guatemala

I had a lot of awesome experiences when we were in Guatemala a couple weeks ago. We got to feed the hungry and love the needy. We saw many people give their hearts tot he Lord and many healed. We were a large team working as one. It was really a great time as many mission trips are.

The biggest thing that impressed me this time, I think, was that where there is unity in the church ( I mean the churches in the areas we ministered) there is big fruit. We have been on trips where there was no unity in the church, and have seen people come to Jesus, but not in the way where the church is working toward the common goal. When the church is on the same page, there are no personal agendas or anything to hinder the Lord from doing its work.

Why do I say this? If you follow anything about world religions, you will know there are really only two major Muslim threads, where there are hundreds of Christian threads. Islam is growing faster than Christianity in most areas. While we argue over things like speaking in tongues, healing, the right way to baptise, disciplining children, and the like, the Islamic church is mobilizing. This can also be said about the Jehova's Witnesses. While preparing for a bike ride, my boys and I were approached by a JW.

I was sitting there thinking to myself, "I just got off the high point of my mission trip, and am shamed by a false religion in my own backyard." This may be a competitive male attitude, and I am not really too distraught over it as I work as hard as I can in my local church vineyard, but it did get me thinking. There may be things that we can disagree on in the body, but those things really divide us more than necessary. It is almost as if the church here is the most offended group in the world. Instead of walking in victory, we walk in rejection and despair. We worry for the catholics, and wish the baptists would get filed with the spirit. We bicker with eachother and build new churches out of spite for our old leaders who were "wrong."

I was also reminded of these things at a recent meeting where I was asked to share with some other HS parents about the trip. There were people upset about us working there. "Did you just lead them to the Lord and no follow up?" "I don't think healings are for today." "Don't you think you should be doing more here?" "Don't you think you are doing your family a disservice?" These were some of the things asked of me as I shared. There was a great debate that followed and I just was amazed.

As I sit and type, I know two things:
1. I am going to offend someone.
2. I could go on for hours and nail more truth to the wall.

Neither one of these things is my intent. I just wanted to ponder these things aloud. It just depressed me that false religions take the Great Commandment more seriously than the Bride of Christ does. It also depresses me that there are so many lost and dying while we debate symantics. As a father, I want to teach my kids to be outward. I want to show them that there is a world out there that needs Jesus and they are part of getting Him out.

Thursday, July 6, 2006

Mission Trip Humor

Well, I just returned from a VERY long month of mission work both in my local neighborhood and in Guatemala. I am going to break from the no talking about ministry rules for a little while to share my experiences as I am so amazed at our God and His power. I will be writing in a few installments about these experiences. I am going to start things off with this post:

Top Ten Funniest things I experienced on this Mission Trip:
10. Store Vendor, "Hello"
Pastor Janine, "No, that's too much."
9. "Would you like a Mango?"
8. Miss Ina Walker playing the part of a drunk lady in a drama.
7. "You really have a good singing voice."
6. "That fat Scottish guy is really nice."
5. "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas" shower music.
4. "Liver alone, cheese mine."
3. Shoulder roll
2. "Is that Ashton Kutcher?"
1. "Oh God, we lift Bhudda before you..." Prayer for a teen in our group.

I know some of these won't make sense to you, but they were funny to those who were there.

Pictures of the Mission trip can be seen here Guatemala Pictures
Pictures of our VBS can be seen here VBS 2006