Where is the Right Spot on the Pendulum?

Did you ever watch those marbles on a pendulum?  I have.  It is really neat.  They just swing to and fro, then fro and to.  How do those middle balls stay in nearly the same place?  Don’t you wish you were like those middle balls, not affected by the right or the left?

The Bible offers many scriptures about keeping in center and not veering to the right or left.  Jesus used a real life visual to Peter when they were out on the water.  Jesus came walking along on the water and tells Peter to come out and join him.  Peter does have the guts to try, but gets caught up in fear of what is all around him, forgetting who is before him.

It offers a lot of scripture about parenting, too.  There are a number of Proverbs that we apply to our family.  Jesus has showed me a lot about loving, and loving children; yet still, this morning I ponder on the pendulum of generational parenting and whether or not I am center or just one of the outside balls.

Last night I was sitting down to do homework for Bible College.  Fortunately for me this was an assignment on Revelation 2:1-7, which I have been dealing with in my life.  We are doing a presentation on the word to the church at Ephesus, and my job is to discuss what it means today.  So I sat down to write it, feeling like Ralphie in “The Christmas Story” where he says, “Never have the words flowed from my penny pencil with such feverish fluidity.”  I could write for hours about what I am going to share, but I would never get to the point of the topic I want to talk about here today.

So, anyway, as I was sitting down to work, I looked at my watch.  It was 7:40.  Andrea and I had been talking about something for Jordan, since his birthday is Friday.  I asked her if she wanted me to take him somewhere.  She ignored me until all the kids were in bed.  Hey lady, we just celebrated 16 years of wedded bliss, you can’t do that to me….. ;0)  I am kidding, and digressing.  I am sorry.

Well, with the kids in bed Andrea and I had a little discussion.  It wasn’t an argument or intended to hurt each other’s feelings, but it was one of those rare discussions where you don’t articulate well what you are feeling and you think the other should just know and fall in line.  She explained to me the finances and I explained to her the pendulum.

What is the pendulum for you, Rob?  Well, I had a great upbringing.  Both my parents loved me.  One thing that I can say, though, in my early years it was very easy to focus on the negative side of raising me and pointing out how I blew it at certain times that I was about to get gifted.  I will never forget the time I was going to get a MX bike but didn’t because I was in a fight.  It hurt me to this very day.  I was the victim of a circumstance and never even wanted to be in the fight.  So, not only did I not fight back on purpose and get beat up in front of the school, get suspended for a day from the sixth grade wrongfully, get made fun of by everyone for not fighting back, get the paddle from the principle, and a bunch of other things, I got “we were just about to buy you this MX bike you wanted, but you wrecked it.”

I had unfortunately just done that to my boys this weekend.  Saturday was the only downhill race in Michigan and I wanted to go.  I also wanted to go to Niagara Falls in a  couple of weeks, and Jordan’s birthday is this Friday, so finances were winning the war in my heart over going to the race.  I am still the head of the house and can reserve my final decision on the matter, though.  Well, the boys were rowdy all last week and, that pushed me over the edge.  I told them we weren’t going because of their school attitudes.  In reality, even for Andrea, that was true.  I couldn’t reward them for the week they had given my wife.  Even if it was a bad financial decision, it was the only downhill race I Michigan and I wanted to go, but, you can’t reward bad behavior, so therefore I suffered and missed the only thing I love to do, and the only opportunity I had this year to do it.  Swing pendulum left.

Swing pendulum right.  Back to the birthday conversation; since this situation affected me so much I always think about it and look at it in regards to rewarding or blessing my kids.  Nathan is a great kid.  The thing about it with him, though, is that sometimes he can be difficult.  Nathan has been a little tough this year as we head into man voice and broad shoulders, if you know what I mean.  I can’t reward that stuff.  Yet, you may have noticed that he got a new guitar.  Here is the pendulum working in the other way.  This boy has practiced for hours daily since he first got a guitar.  It is something he is doing well in his life and something I can use to speak to him.  I am not going to hold back on the best opportunity I have right now of connecting with him and teaching him to follow Jesus and how to grow up into a man.

It is the same way with my other kids, too.  Now, add in Jordan, who is very outward and giving, and the fact that his birthday is Friday and you can see why I am swing to and fro, and fro and to.  It was the very act of his good nature that is compelling me to want to do what I want to do for him.  I bless one for diligence, so I must bless one who works hard to earn things so he can bless others.

I know.  There are other ways that you can bless that don’t include finances to the degree I am thinking of.  This is why the pendulum swings, though, and I thought I would share it.  For me, I am not so sure I am even swinging the pendulum all the way to the right.  This was just something I resolved in myself long before I was married and had kids.  It was one of the first grown up thoughts I remember having.  The thought of, “I don’t ever want to make that mistake with my kids where I take away what may be the one open door into the lives of my children.”

So anyway, here I sit and pray, and all I hear is click click click.